ABOUT ME : I choose to be open about it and I choose to only speak about it here. I think people need to see part of the art process , which is project A-D. This just gives really pure insight to my frame of mind before it slips into the cosmos.
ABOUT THE REAL ME : I do tell lots of stories. It is my life. And its not a typical one.
ART. CREATION. DESIGN : Everything really is slated for start of Fall Winter 2019/20. Sept 14 ;) I feel the self-pressure.
ART & NARRATION : There are two places I have spent most of my life. Museums and Libraries.
I know the ins & outs of most of them in New York City and Paris.
ARTIST or DESIGNER : I am both.
PARIS. NY. CALI : All three places are a part of me. I share dual citizenship between France and the US. I don't speak to my parents in English. I was in Europe for the last 6 years or so.
ART. CREATION. DESIGN. : It is a way of writing my story without writing it. It is a visual art narration with art pieces as well as fashion pieces. Something like the Cocoon is an art piece- the Yemi piece is a fashion piece. I wear Cocoon all the time- trust me if you want to make a statement - Cocoon will do it. If you want to hide, cocoon will also do that too. There is duality within the very model. But it may not be for everyone. Yemi is- and its soft and cozy and warm. The infinity model is really a whole new level and Ben is the only one to shoot it. I make a unique piece around each project and one that I won't ever duplicate. Infinity was very labor intensive and I think its story is so special with Erica and Maciek that I want to leave it that way and Ben was ideal for this.
ART GANG : I just started using that term and kept on with it. The list grows so its just kinda like that. Everyone started somewhere. By default having art gang keeps me going because they are like what's next? It pushes me to do my work as well. The work is not easy. Project A was not easy for Tarishi and Project B I pushed Ben to go out of his zone. Project C is insanity - I think people are afraid or excited. I said things will unravel I meant it. There are moments of panic and doubt even with myself. But the result makes it worth it.
BUTTERFLY EFFECT: It is personal and emotive. But when I see a butterfly I keep it as a clue. I think many artists can relate to the butterfly as well. You see many references to it.
COLORS : I love colors. I do see colors exceptionally well. On this site, I do use black and white intentionally. It is very Hitchock mode in regards to the change of colors. But I will change the website so....
CREATIVITY : You have it or you don't . No school will teach you this.
DESIGN : Inherently my first mode of function. I have to visually see the process myself if it is my narration. I see design from an architectural lense and I have copied my dad's engineering ways of thinking. It needs a purpose. Does it exist? What makes it different? What am I doing? There has to be a basis for it in order to have a decent result.
DICTIONARY : I often use Oxford Dictionary to define meanings on this site. One, I think it is the best dictionary in general. You have to go to the source if you want truth. Secondly, it reminds people of what things are. Facts. Thirdly, I come from an English lit background- I love words, letters, metaphors, etc.
DIGITAL : Technology is here to stay. I think people don't utilise it correctly. Whether or not we like it, it is not going anywhere. If you give your 3 year old child your Iphone don't be surprised if the cognitive skills aren't all there. I didn't watch TV as a kid- I think as a teen it was only weekends. I never read directions on any technical device. I just know how it works as I'm operating on a design level. So that is also how I can tell if it is well done. It is almost symbiotic to how we operate. So I know when I need to rely on it, and when to go off the grid. Technology is designed- it is made that way. I am building layer by layer every component of this site and of these projects. I weave in and out like a silkworm and I'm telling people hey this is what it is taking out of me. You see my fatigue, you see me up at 3 am, you see my anxiety, my tears, my moments of accomplishment. So behind this keyboard, it is I who types each word. I am working on a different type of system and server. And I know in a few months, I will miss this and have to switch the configuration. The layout will change . I mean a butterfly changes you know. And I love the element of surprise. I'm super excited to change this layout but I say that but I know I will have to sit down for a good 2 weeks and just be at this computer nonstonp.
DRAPING : Perhaps my best skill. The body does not lie.
DRAWING : I wish to be better at it. I really do! But I'm not patient enough . I'll start and then stop midway. You'd have to sit side by side for me to finish these things.
FASHION : I love fashion. I don't follow trends. Trends to me especially if you bank on millenials or social media is Russian Roulette . I'm a designer first, then fashion second. A good design lasts. Fashion does not. Where is Halston? Herve Leger?
FINAL FAB FANTASTIC FOUR : This alludes to Maciek, Erica, Ben , and I . They opened up this whole thing and jumped on board right away without question. I will def collab again with them but way later when this thing has gone further down the line and on perhaps a crazier level as I already know what it would be . I infuse a lot into narrations. I mean they are a huge part of this. They are friends, but also peers. And I respect them as people and as artists. I also had asked them that they not post any images as I really wanted to be solo on this. I needed that singularity for myself in that its me versus the art world.
FIRST FOUR PROJECTS : The letters are Chapters . 26 letters , 26 Chapters, 26 themes , 26 ideas and the products correspond to the themes. C will take a while. I make the patterns to the garments so its like ughh. I will not continue after the 26 letters regardless of where it goes with myself and the artgang. It really is a book of art. You can say so and so met on project E, and we were here on C. For what has happened thus far, we do have fun despite the work. People meet , bond, see new ways of thinking and doing things. It is artist versus artist and yes there is fashion but I don't want the gimmicks.
GRAFFITI : I'm the baby in the crew, its like I have all these big brothers. It got me to really like typography and prints. Some of them are legendary and I may be in talking to them and not know who is who. That happens. I will say this without a doubt their works are known in the city.
INTUITION : I believe it is linked to creativity. I follow more my intuition than logic.
LITERATURE : I may love it more than people.
MUSES : I name the products after the very people and friends that are part of this thing. In many ways a lot of them are muses in their own rights. It is also easy for me to keep the narration in tact. A lot of organizing mentally and yes I have many muses. I really get their vibe and what they are about. There is a deep understanding.
PAINTING : I have always painted privately. This is my internal vortex. I''ll do abstract one day and fine art the next. My techniques vary and I am almost addressing the dichotomy of the art world as well within the stylistic device I use. I don't doubt my skill but I won't paint a million pieces either. It has to fit. I don't have a style. I am adhd so I can lose attention within a painting. It is hard to explain the moment I finish, I no longer like what I made. I have thrown things out and my friends have said stop that. So I keep it now but its like I really get detached after it is done. I almost can't stand to look at it in some strange way. There will be one central painting to each project titled each letter then the remaining paintings tie in to the other artists.
PERSONA : I am more than the 1st impression. Everyone tells me that. I can be quite aloof.
PHOTOGRAPHY : A hobby. I do not call myself one as it is not my profession. My photographer friends- that camera is their best friend. I am more of a narrator. I was into photography when younger and in the dark room a lot so I do know the technical aspect. I have my cameras- I don't use them. So what you see in the photo diaries and behind the scene is my phone actually- it is my way of saying its the eye and soul that captures the image. The camera is simply an extension. And yes, you do need a good lense. That is important. But it is how you take what you see. I respect film photography immensely. I move with these photographers during the shoots. With some, I will edit to the final version on their accord, others I do not touch and would never do so as they have paved their careers. It is out of respect I do not touch my camera as it such an art that I don't want to put myself everywhere. I know where my strengths are. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. If its not credited as someone else- I took it except with any images with Erica and I as often we switch cameras and I'll edit so really we are 1 person in that regards. As we really are like 1. And she takes a photo almost like I would. Everyone is like get your film camera out! I'm like it has dust on it. It is under my bed somewhere with my polaroid. I like polaroids a lot. And to be honest I would get sidetracked from the goal of the letter project.
I love Guy Bourdin, Bruce Davidson, and Arnold Newman. They tell stories in their photos. I want to know who those people are. Arnold Newman got a photo of Marilyn Monroe and Carl Sandburg and I want to know what they are discussing. That to me is powerful.
Ben is as gem. There is a mutual understanding and he is gifted. I have a very surrealist way of thinking. There is an aspect of his work that has a surrealist undertone but it does not define him. We touched point on one aspect of our work to create a story.
Erica and I go way back from college days. She is family. We've been through a lot together!
Maciek- He too a photographer with Erica- it is family. Terribly smart so I learn and listen a lot from what he has to say. His work is stunning. I mean I saw a huge photograph at his studio- Matka Studio- my God there are no words. The colors are stunning.
Brenda- There is a reason I chose her. She has a gift. And I see it clearly. Others will see why I chose her. I can't finish these 26 letters solo and keep sane. Best solution is to have the closest thing to my insanity. Brenda is it. She is wilder than I am! Don't get it twisted. She's tiny but her soul is massive.
PROCESS : I zone out. I'm at peace. And when life is tough, this zone is my best friend.
PSYCHOLOGY : I do attack this subject vivaciously as I love the human mind. I started off as a psych major in college and I do read the DSM-IV as a nerdy thing. I do adress the id, ego , superego by Freud a lot and will do so . As even on an art level : one needs ego, but it fights with the ID and Superego. All three must co-exist and the inbalance leads to chaos and destruction within. I think on this point Freud was very accurate. We live in a society that perpetruates vanity and egotism where to the point you have pseudo-artists and scam artists fooling even the smartest minds. I really am more about the identity of things. I keep it 100.
You have to understand ego on Freudian term- the ego is the reality, the superego and id are the uncontrollables the stuff that lurks. Ego then has to thrive or else we collapse internally.
Art still is one of the few realms that you can't fake certain things and I hope it remains that way. I can go into any art atmosphere and I understand what I am looking at. I always have felt more at ease at an art exhibition then a fashion show. The fashion is so superficial and it is boring in many ways for me. In art , you either know it or you don't . You can't just say the art piece is nice. You have to know why its that way . Whenever fashion is in a rut- they go and do a collab with the artist . In fashion, I like to be behind the scenes for the most part, theres a lot of pretense and I'm not into that. Before I left for Europe, I did all that fashion stuff- I almost made sure to erase it all. I don't want people to be interested just because I'm attached to so and so. To me its so irrelevant to who I am. I really am just chill. In art I don't mind putting myself out there because I fuse with some of the stuff I do. I really do think the way I may draw or paint. If the work changes, so have I.
SEWING : Started 13 or 14- a butterfly pillow yellow and purple. But really Parsons hammered it down. I sew really well. People always ask did I make it? Yes I always make the prototype and I enjoy it even if I moan about it . I'm just dramatic in that sense.
STORIES : I remember one time in Montmartre, I had a sketch and a woman- director of a cosmetic brand- I will not mention as it will out her. She wanted it. She said sign it. I said why? She said I think there is something to this. It was the sweetest thing someone ever told me, and it is probably one of many magical Montmartre stories I hold. With the French, I always trust their critiques, their perceptive criticism is brutal, their pride fierce in heritage, but their eye undeniably scrupulous. You can't survive Paris without the eye of refinement and detail. Impossible. They are not perfect and will proabably not admit to their very flaw. It is very French you know. France has an immensely beautiful history, one that is beyond the tales of Versailles but their is deep nostalgia and I think the present should hold its beauty for it will one day be the past. Who are the artists of today? Who is the next Seurat and Picasso? Should they be ill fated like the tales of Van Gogh? Because I am telling you I see pure raw talent dripping in the hands and people are so quick to judge without looking. A lot of the artgang have mindblowing talent its insane. Some think I'm the one with the gift, but its really them. I know my skill sets but I'm limited too in my own right.
STYLE : My best friend says I'm BOBO. Bourgeois and Bohemian. I think I'm neither Rive Gauche nor Droite- I just fall right in the Seine River.
WORK / Social Media : I know the algorithms and I get banned a lot. I think its Like Orwell's 1984 and it holds no utility in actual value of buying power, influence maybe. But influence doesn't result neccessarily in certain aspects. I do think it still holds importance for the arts its really good you get to see the art commmunity , but for fashion there's a lot of smoke and mirrors - I think companies have to be smart about what they see and what conveys to the consumer. No one wants to admire a life they can't relate to for too long .
THOUGHTS : Fashion isn't for everyone. Art isn't for everyone. Art isn't just about the technical component. My dad showed me this artist who can paint with his back to the canvas beautifully. I can't do that. I'm like dad, come on! I think you have to look at the whole package. And for me my creativity at least is not logical. A lot of it is intuition. I just know. Explaining is tiring for me and probably angers me. Art is a business as well and I am not against it. To me selling out is so misunderstood. Selling out is doing something you do not want to do . Something that is not you. I'll do some things in a museum but I really am like that and feel like that. I did it when I was 12 and I do it now still. Not doing what you love, that to me is selling out and sometimes we have no choice because of the way life is structured. Art is also art. I'm not into fast art to just sell sell. After the 26 letters for me I am finished. 26 is a lot anyways. I accept endings as a part of life. And knowing this is a relief. The Cocoon I will never repeat. It is the magic of Project B. The various versions of me in Project A stays with A. I will not go on this theme on letter P for example.
I also feel the most technical were the Renaissance Painters. Da Vinci my God- we use his ideas and creations today. I refer to Da Vinci a lot- in the sense of the importance of the hands. When I paint, I don't try to recreate the movements of the past or their stylistic devices. However , I have learned them. I am trying to create entirely something new and a different way of looking at what is. Movements are created with the new not the old, but they respect the old and have learned from them. My friend is like you should paint flowers in the head. I'm like its been done. And I love those who have executed this beautifully. I paint what I feel. There are paintings I'd love to execute but my attention span is just not wanting it. I design on what makes sense. And everything connects . I really do infuse myself in the art I make. The 4 processes of the butterfly I am mentally going through the transformation in a way. So there are roots to the story.
14 : Born on the 14th. in the 14th arrondissement. I have a lot of the 14 ( 5 energy) - the chameleon -I do not fear change, I thrive on it. - matches my persona.
Writing : I prefer writing over talking. Also therapeutic .
Last words : Expect the Unexpected.
THIS ENDS ANY WRITTEN DIALOGUE OF THOUGHTS. I TALK NO FURTHER.
This Segment Self-Destructs on September 14th.
Artist : Picasso . Basquiat close second, but Basquiat was too ahead of his time and I think he knew it too . He had a brilliant mind. I also like Tamara de Lempicka. I think she did a lot for art in terms of being a woman in the art world.
Art Critic : Jerry Saltz
Photographer : Arnold Newman
Architect : Hiroshi Nakamura
Designer : Cristobal Balenciaga / Nicolas Ghesquière
Poets : Tough- Shel Silvertein, T.S. Eliot , Robert Frost , Rudyard Kipling ( If ) , Gwendolyn Brooks - I used to recite We Real Cool all the time , Shakespeare 14th Sonnet, Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman
Books : Too many to list
Cocooning in Winter Haze
Astrology : Virgo Sun , Saggitarius Rising, Aquarius Moon.
Myers- Briggs Personality : ENFP (childhood INFP and sometimes still INFP like Cocoon in the winter haha)
Numerology Lifepath : 11
Doodles : Freshmen Year College Class : English Lit
Self Portrait with the Infinity Sculpture
The logo Process of A.C.D.
Infinity & Cocoon
Editing Images : Psychological Narrative
Nicknames : Ace, Speedy, Speedster, Dongo, Cynth, A. Cynthia, ACD, ACDC ... the names depend on how far back I go with a person.
Art . Amah
Creation . Cynthia.
Design . Dongo
Visualization of Thoughts and execution.